I just love the irony that I'm supposed to be some what of an "expert" on prayer when I still have so many frustrations and questions about it.
As I've been praying for some very specific situations some questions have raised in my mind. Like, can we enable someone through our prayers to continue in a path that may not be God's best for them? For example, a person really wants a specific outcome for a difficult situation they are facing and we gather 30 or 40 people to pray that outcome. First question, does God listen to our prayers because 30 or 40 prayed vs. 2 praying? Does the amount of prayers tilt the cosmic scale in heaven one direction or the other?
Secondly, what if with all the people praying, the answer continues to be unclear or a no? I would think we should stop and ask God, is there something different you want for this person? AND what if the there is something different for the person and I alone start praying THAT for them. Am I combating the other 29 people who are praying for the alternate answer? Does the other 29 people's prayers delay what God really wants to do? And does it really have anything to do with us at all? Maybe our prayers are just a show of solidarity for this person and God's prolonging the answer as He completes a work in that person. Ok...my head is hurting now....
Or another struggle for me is regarding the elections. I know enough that I have no clue what is in each of the candidate's hearts. I can go on their past behaviors of a candidate, but only God knows his destiny and if there might be a radical change of heart in the future that will change the course of history for us. So I choose to pray that God will place HIS candidate in the seat of presidency. That a righteous person, one that is or will be after God's heart will be placed in office. In essence, GOD's will be done in the election. Ok having said that, "How long do I have to pray that prayer?" It somewhat feels like I am asking over and over for something that I believe God wants do to anyway. Shouldn't I just have enough faith to trust that is what God will do? According to all the emails about the election I get, it feels I should be in constant prayer for the elections as this is the only situation on earth that demands God's attention. (Ok, so I'm a bit tired of all the emails, because it feels like I'm being pressured to pray vs. wanting to because I like my conversation and friendship with God and I feel prompted to pray for the elections. Forgive my testy remarks.)
It is funny. With as many questions as I have, I take great comfort in the fact that my prayer life doesn't have to be perfect. It's ok I have these rhetorical type questions. In fact, I think it makes my relationship with God more lively and interesting because He doesn't rebuke my questions, but invites me to lean into him to learn more. That is a great thing, because I have lots more!
