The past 4 days have been filled with appointments ministering to people with deep pain over the mistakes they had made. Mistakes that have hurt not only themselves, but others. They were not experiencing just the "I'm sorry..I got caught" type of pain. No this was deep anguish with mourning and wailing. It was so intense just sitting with them as snot dripped from their noses, enveloped in shame and guilt, hopeless and in despair. They were feeling the repercussions of their choices and facing the consequences of their actions. It was overwhelming to me.
It never ceases to amaze me how God gives me the ability to sit and be with them, offering His hope at the right time, while remaining calm. Praying with them is an honor and a divine opportunity that God has entrusted to me. But I have to admit tonight my heart hurts. You can't minister in those types of intense situations and walk away untouched.
It adds to the saddness because I know the path of healing each will need to take and it is not a quick or smooth one usually. There are no bandaids quick fixes. It will take much humility on their part and lots of time to rebuild the emotional equity lost in the relationships. There is also no guarantee that those they hurt will choose to walk the path of healing with them.
I am seasoned enough to know I can't carry the emotional burdens of those I minister to. And I won't. Tonight it just seems harder than others though. Maybe because I am really tired, maybe because of how close they came together. Whatever the reason, I really want and need to feel God's touch so that I can start back over tomorrow. Come Holy Spirit....
1 comment:
It is something else sometimes, isn't it? I've had moments like this with preschoolers who pour out their anguish, pain and confusion to us in the only safe place they have in their troubled lives.
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