Can the Ending Really Be Different?

Some of my wonderful friends did an intervention of sorts on me this week. I have been talking in my small group for the past few months of my desire to get back into shape and reverse this cycle of losing large amounts of weight and then gaining it right back. Not an uncommon problem. Which is why I'm choosing to even share this.

For those who have known me for the past 7 or 8 years, you have seen me loose over 80 lbs and gain it right back. When in fact I've lost that amount at least 2 or 3 times in my life. I feel like Oprah except on a way smaller level. When you have somewhat of public position you are keenly aware of how people watch you.

And when I say intervention, it was with lots of love and an honest desire to learn how to challenge each other to be the best we can be, at the deepest levels. But this triggered an immediate visceral response in me. It was "I don't want to disappoint you or myself once again."

There are myriads of different reasons why people do this. Emotional past hurts, an unwillingness to do the physically painful work that it takes to get your body into shape, using food to numb, comfort or reward ourselves or maybe all of the above. But for me my repeated failures have taught me to believe that the ending will be the same, so why try?

Until in our staff meeting this week God spoke through the mouth of our executive pastor when he read Isaiah 43:18-19. Not an unfamiliar passage, but very timely. It says:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"

So the first question I need to answer is how badly do I want this? Is it enough to risk again trusting that God is doing a new thing? Can I forget the former things and not dwell on the past?

One last thought. I have had many people come in my life to say, "let's do this together!" Each time we've walk alongside each other for a bit then I or the other person just stop connecting on it and slip back into our old patterns. (Usually it is me). As I thought about this God brought to mind an old joke.

A man caught in a flood and was standing on the roof of his praying and asking God to rescue him. A boat comes by but the man declines it saying "God is going to rescue me". Then a helicopter comes by. Again the man declines saying "God is going to rescue me!". (See where this is going?) As the water gets higher the man laments "God why haven't you rescued me?" And God replies, " I tried!".

God has sent by boats to me and I believe this week he sent by a helicopter. It gives me faith to believe the ending could be different.